I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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