I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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