talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
