She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
