he shaved USA in his pubs
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
