well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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