I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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