C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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