Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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