i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
