It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
