For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
zippers are such a cool invention
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
