I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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