do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
