at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
