i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
