No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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