I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
