the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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