so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
