I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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