it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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