so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize