the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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