We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
