Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize