dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
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I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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