Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think i have herpe
just one?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
