He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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