dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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