I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
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you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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