Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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