Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
