I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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