After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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