you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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