My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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