Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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