I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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