I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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