so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
jump out the window naked night went bad
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
