it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize