glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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