So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
someone owes me an orgasm
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
