**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
