This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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