A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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