if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
