Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
