escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
