I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
