but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
