Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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