I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
