You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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