in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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